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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26362702">Suck it up (Shut me up)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:15:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26362702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If Kokichi didn't have any problems, he wasn't hurting.</p><p> </p><p>https://youtu.be/_nCW-DLAnuE<br/>^<br/>song i was inspired by</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(IMPLIED), Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A lost boy who hasn't been found</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kokichi Ouma was a normal student.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had good grades.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small group of friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should be happy, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because of his very, special personality others avoided him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that wasn’t entirely correct either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bullies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They waited in the halls every day just to give him a piece of their selfish mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi liked to prank people, he never meant to harm anyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not everyone tried to understand his lies so he would end up in the muddy puddles or in the big garbage disposal bins very often.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not letting anyone see that their prankster was being bullied he got up even earlier, making sure not to wake up his drunk mother, he didn’t want to take out the glass shards of his body again, so he had time to clean his desk from the ugly scribbles and hateful remarks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mom hasn’t been clean for years. His dad? Oh, he packed his bags and ran away from his responsibilities as soon as he knew his mother was pregnant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was the one making money, for himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother worked just fine as a prostitute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went to some acting shows where he could use his lies for himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When his mother died because of a depressive episode he didn’t cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew his mother was a good person who just loved the wrong person.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he was bought to an orphanage he continued to act cheerily to avoid any of his information slip. He was forced to act the whole time now and he couldn’t even cry during his nightmares because he had roommates.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am the one who’s at fault, I just have to suck it up and continue to be happy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s nothing wrong with me so why should I care about my feelings.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing changed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now the only new thing was he had a small group of people who were too gullible for their own good so Kokichi took care of them as their strong and smart leader.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon the amount grew and grew and grew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi doesn’t remember what he’s doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wasn’t he supposed to be a normal student?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time in fifteen years, Kokichi lets out all the emotions hidden inside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He despaired alone that night.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The lost boy had been found</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After he had let out his feelings he seemed more lucid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would now actually listen to the conversations of his gang members.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For once his brain wasn’t on autopilot so he expanded the territory of his organization.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the timespan of a year, Kokichi Ouma, the never shown leader of DICE, had conquered seven countries and several islands.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He was only pulling the strings and manipulating them so that there would be a low crime rate in all of those places he had won for his members.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>On his 16th birthday, he got a letter from Hope's Peak, inviting him to join their school.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ten first members were like family and since they knew he didn’t really have any friends they convinced him to go.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>After a week of pestering Kokichi finally agreed, not knowing what future would lie ahead of him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When he arrived he made a grand entrance like always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure if any of the students were bullies, he would find out soon enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>People were staring at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ignore them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He just smiled the same malicious grin and he lied through his teeth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And again, everyone left him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But one person remained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi Saihara. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A person who sees him as an enigma, not a liar, not something absolutely terrible, he thought Kokichi was a puzzle and he was even </span>
  <em>
    <span>interested</span>
  </em>
  <span> in him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was that even possible? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while he got often hurt by a certain assassin, she claimed he was nothing more but an annoying little prick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just lived like before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pretend, get hurt, work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pretend, get hurt, work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was always the same boring cycle and he'd never even think about telling anyone about what's happening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't care about being hurt anymore. So he just slipped in more lies in what he said to avoid suspicion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a year, he would find flowers and hateful words on his desk again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It all happened on someday in June. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Could've been his birthday. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was a little late to school because he was attacked by a stray dog. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he rushed into class everyone was looking at him in a pitying manner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It irritated him until he looked at his desk. He just sighed in annoyance and straight-up sat down, removing the flowers to look at the teacher's blackboard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His classmates and the teacher were rather horrified at how this didn't phase Kokichi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In reality, he was angry about not coming to class early. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got used to being in the classroom an hour too early again and just cleaned his desk, waiting for others to arrive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The beatings for being a liar got even worse and he lied even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not letting his mask reveal the ugly truth behind it. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>In his second year, he got into a bad argument with Shuichi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can't really remember what it was about, probably something about him overworking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi pushed his buttons, not caring about the outcome because of how low on caffeine and sleep he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi told him that he'd always be lonely and he would die that way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made Kokichi furious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made him angry enough that he only registered after a minute that he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>slapped</span>
  </em>
  <span> his beloved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The absolute horror and the tears prickling at the rim of his eyes were the most humane expression he had shown in the last ten years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he ran away, like always. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swore to himself that he would never resort to violence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His class was probably glad to have gotten rid of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi couldn't care less. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he still felt really guilty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slapped someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slapped the one he loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was becoming one of those people he tried to punish for their deeds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should punish himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi spent the next months in his room. Not even letting DICE enter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His teacher was a good teacher. She tried to somehow get him out of the room but she failed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi pitied her for not having a better student. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After three months of not contacting the outside world, except for giving DICE orders on how to gain more territory, Miss Chisa managed to get him out of his room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked absolutely awful and sleep-deprived, so miss Chisa allowed him to stay for another day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day he seemed like a completely different person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wore a concealer to hide his eyebags that no one noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His expressions worked like a light switch again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lied about the reason why he was absent, but Shuichi couldn't help but feel responsible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After school Shuichi confronted Kokichi, apologizing over and over and over again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What are you apologizing for."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words were filled with bitterness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one apologizing if I was the one who hurt you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't bring himself to look into Shuichi's eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew he was about to be pitied. He didn't want pity, especially not from his beloved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Because I was stubborn if I wouldn't have said that, you wouldn't have slapped me. I hurt your feelings so I'm the one who's wrong." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi wiped his eyes and looked at him with anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why won't you accept that I'm the one who's wrong?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Because you're not!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am, stop lying!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not lying!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Bullshit" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was fighting the tears in his eyes, not wanting to cry in front of Shuichi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi took his hands too fast for him to comprehend and held those on his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was worried about you." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi realized that he placed his hands there so he could detect if he was lying, showing him that he could trust Shuichi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Idiot, you shouldn't worry about me"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "But I do" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Then stop, you're like mom" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"..."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi just came closer and Kokichi braced himself for being thrown to the ground and being beaten. But instead, he was hugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't as suffocating as the closet he was put in as a child, it was a warm embrace with no ill intent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn't talk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi never hugged back, but that was ok. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because Shuichi knew, the fact that he didn't run away was enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi didn't have to despair alone anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't know why I made this but since Kokichi despises violence and was mistreated (implied in the fic) as a child, he'd automatically learn that violence is the only solution, so I came up with this.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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